As I have already anticipated it will be my task to try to translate some poems from the complex and lyrical world of Alda Merini- shall I succeed in this difficult target ?The problem is just to render her emotions, sufference, hope- such was her life- into a language which is musical itself and bring it into the dimension of closed spaces where deep looks inside her soul and women’s feelings met during the internate and outside in the the world are recorded-
She made everything to get her existence better than the violence experienced even by her husband who was responsible not only to leave her alone for days creating a high level of painful tension in her, but guilty to hurt physically . Once , on his return after an absence, she asked reasons why but not receiving any reasonable response she got angry and in the attempt to defend herself from her man ‘s attack, she threw a chair at him, this turned to be an alibis for calling institutions and forcing her to leave home and interned for years..
She accepted without rebellion, the only internal motion to contrast this injustice would be composing poetry , aphorisms and very short writings -She affirmed to have passively accepted even the definition of “Insane”, just because she felt not to be like that, always hoping for a visit from her husband and waiting for love-
It’s true AldaMerini had suffered from a bipolar disturb since she was 16 and very soon she became a guest in mad houses, even if bipolar disease is not an element to define a human being insane but she did accept even that “I am insane, “folle”..”, she was not, she was a woman sick with high moments of vitality and downs with sadness and depression, certainly not to be cured through electric shock therapy but with affection ,comprehension and patience- above all through anti-depressant therapies , dialogue , psychoanalytic path related to her disturb-
So what did her disease come from ? Especially from her desire to be sincere, free, herself and beloved. Even though this kind of problem leads to be unconventional, euphoric and then sad, she was always amiable and sweet, ready to understand the female universe she did know deeply .She was mother to 4 daughters who loved her till the end, they felt to be very close to her and still they consider Alda as a good mother, lovely, careful and maternal, despite her long absences from home, living in hospitals or when going out of that hell she was not with all of them as they were growing up with other families.
Anyway she felt to be her mother and they were her daughters-
In those years the so called “manicomi” in English “asylums” still existed and with them all the sufferance and violence endured by the interned :besides being abused the “insane” were filled with psychotropic drugs, indelicacies from nurses as if they should not return to a normal life any longer, so they became alienated and isolated.
In this context Alda underwent numerous eletric shock attacks- she writes
“In that asylum there existed the horrors of the eletrick shocks. Every now and then without a real why we were gathered into a room to endure those horrible “hexes”-I used to call them hexes because they had the only aim to make a human being deaden in spirit and mind. However much more horrible was the antechamber, we were prepared with a premorphin shot and then they gave us a bit of CURARE so that our body couldn’ t agitate in a disproportional way during the electric treatment..”
Despite this Alda would proudly say to be the poet of life and not the poet of insanity.
She would describe those years in details without lamenting or searching for piety, she makes us know humiliations and mistreatments from paramedics and doctors who then alienated sick people’s freedom and their great humanity, all of this is described in
“The OTHER TRUTH. DIARY OF A DIFFERENT ONE”
She has always believed that the mental disease didn ’ t exist, the asylum became a shelter protecting these frail people from the very hell outside, because just in the apparent freedom she was supposed to be judged, criticized and not beloved..
My interpretation for “There are women”
There are women,
and then there are are the women women,
and those you must not try
to understand them,
it would be a lost battle since the beginning.
You must take them and that’s all.
Take them and kiss them, to not give them
the time to think.
Breathless,
You must sweep away by hugs
all their fears they will confide you
only once,
in a low, very low voice.
As they feel ashamed
of their own weakness and,
after telling ,
they will torment
into a silent and slow agony.
Thinking that uncovering their side
and showing themselves like human , easy and
in need for a little
fuckin’ moment,
they will see your shoulders turning
and your steps distant.
So take and love them.
Love them dressed without makeup,
since undressing any woman is good.
Love them when helpless and with no make up,
because you can ‘t know how much the eyes
of a woman may find
behind a veil of mascara,
a shield.
Love them while sleeping,
a little bruised
when the sleep wrinkles them.
Love them just knowing
they don t need this,
they are sufficent to themselves.
But just for this,
they will love you
as no other woman before..
This is one of most famous lyrics celebrating the very essence of love, imperfect and true, besides it’s a homage to common women who deserve to be loved even in their ordinary life.
It is a dialogue with an unknown YOU, a sort of elicitation to get closer to love, without prejudices or masks- I ‘d like to stress on the second stanza when Alda writes it is a lost battle to try to understand true women as they are simply true, as we live in a complicated world where the facade hides reality it is necessary to understand deeply behind, but the very woman does not need this, love her simply, even without make up and even dressed- “platonic love! ?”
It is a duality based on “essential love- all women can undress..they are good!-, and “earthly love”, in this sense YOU love them when sleeping, wrinkled with no make up, or mascara..
The meaning is clear, there is a universe behind the veil of mascara, then YOU must try to love them, since they well know that you will leave turning your shoulders.
All the bad experiences lived by Alda seems be summed up in these words revealing her thirst for human love, shelter not “asylum” or abandonment.
The very woman does know this, she is the woman who is ashamed to have shown her soul, her secret and fluid ease in making love , so “YOU” don’t try to understand, it’s so evident: they will love you even self -suffcient and not necessarily in need of love, as it’s love and that’s all-
part 2
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I really loved this line you wrote: "certainly not to be cured through electric shock therapy but with affection ,comprehension and patience..." Your translation and words resonate with the simplicity of her ask--of love, of compassion, of care. Heartbreaking but real and so beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing.